Where's the Pause Button?

Today I imported some pictures into our iPhoto library and I wound up scrolling though some old pictures and movies of our "big kids" (that's what we call our 6 and 4 year old, our two oldest). And maybe it's my pregnancy hormones, or the fact that this is my last pregnancy, or just the fact that I am a full fledged Mommy now and so I cry easily....but I was so choked up the whole time I was looking at our old pictures and home movies of our kids. I had forgotten how their voices sounded when they that small, I had forgotten how much baby fat they had on their little faces, forgotten about little expressions they made or the way they said certain words. It was bittersweet. I was so glad that I had those pictures and movies, but at the same time I was so sad that time had gone by so quickly.


It feels like such a "Mom" thing to say, but every once and while it just hits me all over again - time is flying, it really does go by SO quickly and kids grow up SO fast. It seems like when you're pregnant with your first baby, you spend the majority of those 9 months hearing other Moms tell you just how fast time goes by, and you smile and promise to treasure every minute - but at 3am when you're trying to get you're 2 week old to eat or fall back asleep you wonder if those other Moms were lying to you. And then you blink and your newborn is suddenly six years old....almost done with Kindergarden, sounding like a big kid and missing all that baby fat on his face.  So, what do you do? I have a feeling that sitting around, crying about how fast your babies are growing up isn't an option :)


Maybe that's why I am so drawn to photography, scrapbooking and keeping a journal (or trying to keep a journal). It seems like a way to freeze time and to hold onto all those heartwarming things that we don't want to forget. Tonight instead of feeling discouraged that I am insanely behind on scrapbooking I am trying to be encouraged and motivated. To see that yes, time is flying by quickly so - stop wasting the precious extra time you do have and spend it doing something you love and actually want to do....work on the scrapbooks, make the quilts and dresses and hair bows and little outfits for them that you want to -  before they're too big to wear them.


Looking through all those old memories also felt like I got a big kick in the rear as far as my attitude about parenting goes. Let's be honest, parenting is hard, tiring and stressful. Yes it is totally worth it - it's wonderful and amazing and filled with heartwarming, priceless movements and I am thankful for every last one of them. But it is also filled with moments where you just want to curl up in a ball in the corner and cry. Sometimes you wonder if you have what it takes, and sometimes you fear that you're a total failure and your kids are going to wind up paying a shrink insane amounts of money to try and figure out how you messed them up so bad. However, I think as mothers we have to be so careful not to give in to that stress and that fear. Sure it's healthy to some degree (we worry because we care, it's just in the job description). But sometimes we wind up so freaked out, discouraged, stressed and caught up in all the hard moments of parenting that we miss the good moments and we forget to stop and just enjoy our kids. I know that I need to take more time to just stop and do nothing but enjoy my kids. To laugh with them and be ridiculous and immature with them. To build LEGO spaceships, brush the dollies hair and just sit on the floor and let my baby girl feed me animal crackers. I need to stop freaking out that the house is a mess and the laundry is behind and that my to-do list is growing at an insane rate. Because my kids are growing even faster. It seems like that to-do list is a snail compared to how fast my kids are growing. And I don't want to miss it. I don't want to look back and realize that I had forgotten how they used to be. I don't want to have to jog my memory through home movies. 


I want to be like Mary and treasure all these things in my heart. To enjoy and appreciate my kids for who they are and not give in to stress, fear and the wrong kinds of "mommy guilt". I want to live by the motto of my favorite "famous scrapbooker", Becky Higgins and "cultivate a good life and record it". God has blessed my husband and I with an incredible, blessed life and I don't want to miss out on any part of it. 


So that's my little challenge to myself, and feel free to steal it for yourself if you need it. Thanks for letting me ramble :) 

Legendary

Everyone has that collection of movies or tv shows that they could watch over and over and over, and never tire of. One of the items in my list is a TV Special that aired a few years ago. It was the "Oprah Winfrey Legends Ball". Event planning enthusiasts that we are, my Mom and I made ourselves Oprah's Legendary Lemon Drop Martinis and drank in every sip of Collin Cowie, Oprah and Gayle planning a three day long solute to those whom Oprah considered to be legends among the African American community. It was so much fun. And every once in a while, I still hop on YouTube and watch the special all over again...someone has the whole thing up there in six different little segments, but I don't mind - I still love it. Not just because the event planner in me falls in love with the notion of having a party to honor those you admire, or giving away diamond earrings as a favor - but because I really do agree with the statement that Collin Cowie makes during the show, "love is in the details". It's true. When you love someone you know all the little details about them that make them who they are. If you're like me you love buying all the coordinating plates and napkins and party supplies that go with whatever theme my kid has picked out for their birthday party that year. You love wrapping up party favors or gifts and wondering how excited someone else will be when they open them. You love creating a gift for someone with your own hands because even though it takes a lot of time and effort and attention to detail, the recipient is SO worth it to you. Maybe that's why the Legends Ball and all the details that went in to it resonate with me. 


However, after the last time that I watched it I began to look at it in a different light. Because right around that time I had also gone to a Beth Moore conference where she talked about preparation. She spoke about all that God has prepared for us to do over the course of our life, and all that He has prepared for us in eternity. And as I began to think about all that God has prepared for us, both here on this earth and in Heaven - I was blown away. I thought that little Legends Ball weekend Oprah had thrown was amazing and incredible and then I realized - that weekend doesn't even scratch the surface of all the work and preparation that God has put into our life. In comparison to how much detail and thought and LOVE and sacrifice has gone into God's preparing our life and eternity for us - that Legends Ball looks like nothing. I know that this may not come as a huge shocking revelation to you as it did to me, but sometimes things just fall afresh on you and you cannot get over them. And as I thought about ALL that God has done for me, and all the care and thought and effort he has put into just my life (and don't forget he puts that same amount of effort and love into the lives of all his children) I was humbled, and grateful....and pretty much speechless. 


So I guess the question becomes, what is our response back to him? When we realize all he has done and all he IS doing for us, what do we do in response? Of course the first things most of think of would be to love him, obey and serve him, show his love to those around us - and I agree, absolutely. But I also think that we are called to live more intentionally in response to him. To not just float through life letting our days just be "whatever". I think that we need to recognize how quickly our time here is flying by and to become more purposeful and intentional in the way we live, in the way that we love, obey and serve our God. Life with God is a huge adventure, an amazing adventure and at times a very tough adventure. But if we will focus on HIM and not all the circumstances flying around us, trying to distract us from him, he will guide us and he will take us on the journey of a lifetime. Something far better than any Legends Ball that we (or Collin Cowie) could ever dream up.


Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life? - Mary Oliver


Ephesians 2:10 - For we are God's masterpiece. He created us anew in Christ Jesus, so we can do the good things he planned for us long ago.


Isaiah 45:18 - For the LORD is God, and he created the heavens and earth and put everything in place. He made the world to be lived in, not to be a place of empty chaos. "I am the LORD," he says, "and there is no other".


1 Corinthians 2:9 - However, as it is written: "What no eyes has seen, what no ear has heard, and what no human mind has conceived" - the things God has prepared for those who love him.

Consider Me Inspired // Motherhood & Photography

Hello! I just wanted to take a minute to share two fun, encouraging and totally unrelated things with you! :)


First up is probably one of the best messages on parenting I have ever heard - and it's only 12 minutes long! I've been blessed to have been able to receive wonderful, godly advice from my own Mom, from friends who have kids older than mine, from good books and from wonderful sermons I've heard and this video is right up there at the top of my list of favorites! It is something that I watch over and over again to give myself a good reminder of what really matters in parenting, what's really going to make a difference in my children's life. It's a quick little Mother's Day Video that Beth Moore put on her blog a few years ago. You can watch it here. Enjoy!


The second is a great article I read about photographing your own kids. As a photographer and a Mom I sometimes have such a struggle with photographing my own kids. Most people think that just because you are a photographer and have a nice camera, that automatically means that you will have studio quality pictures of your children all the time. Well, it doesn't. I wish it did but usually one of two things happens in our house: either I don't feel like lugging my nice, big camera along with us or my kids are not into my fun photo-shoot idea as much as I am. Yes, I am sure you are shocked to learn that most photographer's children do not feel like dressing up, sitting perfectly still and smiling or gazing happily into their siblings eyes whenever their photographer mommy wants them to! So a lot of the time I just wind up discouraged and leaving the camera at home or saying we'll try on a different day or just waiting until my good friend and family photographer Robin Lieb is available (you can check our her site here by the way). But when I came across this article, I was so encouraged! It really helped me change my perspective on being a "photographer mom" and it reignited my love for photographing my own kids. So whether your a pro, an amateur or a Mom with a camera that hasn't been used in a while - check out this article and get shooting!

Mommy Dearest

Today is my Mom's birthday! I have been thinking about writing something in honor of her birthday for a while but I have had a hard time forming my thoughts. When I think of all she has done for me and my growing little family I feel like words are not sufficient enough to describe how much she means to us. That's how I feel when it's time to shop for her too....she is both the easiest and the hardest person for me to buy for. On one hand I could easily spend hundreds on her - buying all the french books, interesting novels, Tiffany & Co jewelry, Anthoplogie teasets, knitting accessories, macaroons, quilting supplies, and French themed art that I can find. But on the other hand I feel like none of it is good enough. None of it is special enough. I mean, in all honesty how do you accurately portray your love, appreciation and admiration of someone who...

• Raised you in a loving, Christian home
• Took you to church every week, put you in Christian school
• Switched churches when she saw how much fun you were having & how much you were getting involved at a new youth group so that she could be at the same church as you
• Made all your clothes & halloween costumes and then taught you to sew when you were old enough (and still continues to teach you to sew, knit, quilt, etc....)
• Hand sewed every single Swarovski crystal onto your wedding dress
• Took you to plays, musicals, ballets and art museums from a very young age
• Came to allllll of your basketball, softball (rain or shine), and cheerleading games. And also coached your 8th grade cheer squad so that there could be a team that season
• Chaperoned all your school field trips
• Not only raised you, but also took care of two dogs, three cats and a handful of hamsters and birds in the coarse of your childhood because you were an animal lover :)
• Had one of those hamsters operated on (yes, operated on) because it broke her heart to see you crying over the thought of a hamster dying. (Looking back, this whole story is hilarious and it may just wind up getting a post of it's own one day)
• Took you and your friends to Hawaii for two weeks after High School graduation
• Laughed with you
• Cried with you when you were stressed out
• Listened to you go on and on and on about some guy named Matt you had met at youth group and were completely in love with :)
• Happily planned (and paid for) your wedding and went with you to every fitting, appointment, etc
• Moved you and your hubby into our first house, helped you paint it and decorate it and turn it into a home
• Rejoiced with you (and calmed your nerves) when you learned that a baby was on the way 10 months later
• Joyfully sprang out of bed at 5am when that baby began to arrive one cold wintery morning
• Moved in for a week to cook and clean and care for our new little family when Matt went back to work after our baby was born
• Also, sprang out of bed to be at the hospital when babies number 2 and 3 were on the way and also came to cook and clean and help you adjust after they were born
• Threw you a party every time a baby was on the way because she firmly believed that every baby is worth celebrating
• Babysits for free and usually winds up cleaning the house while she's there also
• Has craft days with you
• Stalks...I mean....attends Beth Moore conferences with you
• Plans and throws birthday parties for your kids with you
• Has your kids over for slumber parties and lovingly spoils them like crazy
• Dove into the brand-new-to-her world of Legos, superheros and video games so she could bond with your son
• Takes your daughter for tea, manis & pedis and shopping dates....just like she did when you were little
• Took your family to Disney World, Legoland and The American Girl store in Chicago

...and this list....is just the tip of the iceberg. I could sit here and type until my fingers began to bleed and fill pages and pages full of all the things she has done for me and my family, and it still would not feel like an accurate description of how great, awesome, fabulous and kind my Mom is. Happy Birthday Mom, I am so thankful for you!!! Love you!

Reading Day

My Mom informed me today that it is World Reading Day and tomorrow is National Reading Day. I've written before about how much I love books and reading but I wanted to do just a little something on the blog today in honor of these great days!


If you are a Mom, I cannot stress enough how important I think it is to take your kids to the library - often! It is such a fun and free activity to do with them. My kids love going to our library, and we love to take them! They proudly have their own library cards and get such a kick out of scanning their books at the self checkout. Even when our oldest was still an infant we would go and push his stroller through the isles of books and as he got older he would waddle around, checking everything out. It's so important to teach our kids - from a young age - to the value of a good book, to enjoy learning and to love getting lost in the pages of an exciting story! And don't forget to get some books for yourself too! Happy Reading Day!!!


There are lots of great resources out there to encouraging reading, here are just a few: 


Oprah's Book Club for Kids // This site has great information and book recommendations for kids of all ages.


Rory's Book Club // Most of you know this about me, but I (and my Mom, my husband and some of my close friends) am a HUGE fan of the TV show Gilmore Girls. One of the main characters on the show, Rory, was a huge book lover, she was pretty much never seen without a book in hand or somewhere nearby. Some other Gilmore Girls Groupies put together a book list filled with the books she read on the show and with recommendations for books that she probably would of read.


And finally, if you're a book lover then you definitely need to get the GoodReads app. It's a great tool that helps your keep track of books you  have read, want to read or are currently reading. And you can see what books your friends are reading also. It's fun and a has quickly become one of my favorite apps. You can get the app here or click here to check out the website. 

Poetry Jam

Just for fun I thought I would share two of my all time favorite poems. One is about the bond between a little boy and his loyal dog and, the other about how God's plans are far better than ours. They are very different but what they have in common is that they both inspire me.  One inspires me to stop and appreciate the sweet and simple things in life and the other reminds me to stop fighting so hard to make my way & my plan work out and to just let God do what's best. Both are lessons I am finding I need to learn over and over and over......


A Boy and His Dog, by Edgar Guest

A boy and his dog make a glorious pair:
No better friendship is found anywhere,
For they talk and they walk and they run and they play,
And they have their deep secrets for many a day;
And that boy has a comrade who thinks and who feels,
Who walks down the road with a dog at his heels.

He may go where he will and his dog will be there,
May revel in mud and his dog will not care;
Faithful he'll stay for the slightest command
And bark with delight at the touch of his hand;
Oh, he owns a treasure which nobody steals,
Who walks down the road with a dog at his heels.

No other can lure him away from his side;
He's proof against riches and station and pride;
Fine dress does not charm him, and flattery's breath
Is lost on the dog, for he's faithful to death;
He sees the great soul which the body conceals--
Oh, it's great to be young with a dog at your heels!

The Life I Planned, by Beth Moore

Has someone seen the life I planned?
It seems it's been misplaced.
I've looked in every corner;
It's lost without a trace.

I've found one I don't recognize --
Things missing that were dear;
Promises I'd hoped to keep,
And dreams I'd dreamed aren't here.

Faces I had planned to see,
Hands I planned to hold;
Now absent in the pictures;
Not the way I told.

Has someone seen the life I planned?
Did it get thrown away?
God took my hand from searching;
Then I heard Him say --

"Child, your ears have never heard,
Your eyes have never seen,
Eternal plans I have for you
Are more than you could dream.

You long to walk by sight,
But I'm teaching eyes to see;
I know what I'm doing --
'Till then, you must believe.

He's done so much, I felt ashamed
To know He heard my moans.
To think I'd trade in all He's done
For plans made on my own.

I wept over His faithfulness
And how He'd proved Himself;
How He'd gone beyond my dreams
And said to Him myself,

"No, my ears have never heard,
My eyes have never seen,
Eternal plans You have for me
Are more than I could dream.

"Yes, I long to walk by sight
But You're teaching eyes to see;
You know what You're doing --
'Till then, I must believe.

I felt His great compassion --
Mercy unrestrained.
He let me mourn my losses
And showed to me my gains.

I offered Him my future
And released to Him my past.
I traded in my dreams
For a plan He said would last.

I get no glimpse ahead;
No certainties at all,
Except the presence of the One
Who will not let me fall.

Are you also searching
For a life you planned yourself?
Have you looked in every corner?
Have you checked on every shelf?

Child, your ears have never heard,
Your eyes have never seen,
Eternal plans He has for you
Are more than you could dream.

Perhaps you long to walk by sight,
But He's teaching eyes to see;
He knows what He is doing --
Child, step out and believe.

Possibility

I could wander through the isles of a fabric store for hours. Maybe it's because I grew up spending a lot of time in fabric stores with my Mom, something feels homey about it. We walked through the aisles together, looked at pattern books together, waited in line at the cutting counter together - I loved it, still do. There's just something about being in a fabric store or a craft store that's wonderful & exciting to me. I could wander JoAnn's, Hobby Lobby or Scrappy Chic (my favorite scrapbook store) endlessly. Staring at all the papers, looking at all the albums, admiring all the different yarns, running my hand over the bolts of fabric....I just love it. I know, I know...I'm a craft nerd, but I'm ok with that. My best friend and I share this bond also. We talk all the time about how much we love just being in these stores, walking around...getting ideas.

Same thing goes for a book store, I could easily spend a crazy amount of hours staring at the children's books, cook books, chick lit, art books, novels....anything except the westerns or the crazy romance novels really. Again, another value instilled in me by my Mom - she loves books too and she read to me all the time, took me to the library, and bought me all the American Girl books my heart could desire. I've always loved being around books. Even now, one of my favorite date nights with my husband is to just go and wander a book store together. We love it. We're book nerds and we love that about each other. 

The other day I got to thinking about why this is. Why I enjoy wandering around in these stores so much.  Something inside me comes alive. It doesn't matter that I am just window shopping. I know it seems strange to talk about "coming alive" in a fabric store, but it happens. And then it hit me. Yesterday on the phone I was talking with my craft-loving best friend and she was talking about staring at a bunch of spools of thread and all the possibilities it represented. And I realized it - possibility. That's what it is about the book and craft store. They are filled with possibilities. All the supplies are sitting there so beautifully - but they're not complete yet. They haven't served their purpose yet. They are waiting to be turned into a skirt, a quilt, a purse, a scarf, a baby blanket, a scrapbook page, a card, a bookmark. The possibilities are endless. And the beauty of books is that they are filled with possibilities too. They can challenge you, teach you, change you, inspire you, take you to another world, make you think about things that had previously never crossed your mind. They introduce you to people who are strangers to you when you start the book, but by the last page you know that you will never forget them. Entire worlds of possibility await on the pages of a book. 


The same is true with our relationship with God - I know it may seem like a huge stretch to compare our walk with God to things like walking through a craft store or bookstore but stay with me. Life spent following God is filled with possibilities, and there is something so beautiful about that. We don't know what the future holds and that is so exciting and thrilling. Yes it's scary at times, really scary. But honestly - would you want your walk with God to be boring and predictable? Do we want to know all the answers right away and know exactly what is going to happen each and every way? God knows how it is all going to turn out  and he has our best interest at heart. He knows how we need to change, what we need to learn and how we need to be challenged. And at times when it can be so frightening and frustrating to not know how things are going to turn out, it's comforting to know that we are in the hands of the one who does. 


Sometimes we think that our plan, our pattern, our design, our story is better than what God has in store - but it's not. It never is. So while He puts everything together perfectly - for our best interest and for His glory - I believe it is our job to relax, trust Him and enjoy wandering the aisles of the store...and come alive at the thought of the possibilities that are there for us. He is the Master craftsmen and the best Author, everything He makes is full of beauty and every story He writes is an incredible adventure that turns out exactly as it should - according to His plan. 


Picture a piece of embroidery placed between you and God, with the right side up toward God. Man sees the loose frayed ends; but God sees the pattern. - Corrie ten Boom


This is what the Scriptures mean when they say, "No eye has seen, no ear has heard, and no mind has imagined what God has prepared for those who love him." - 1 Corinthians 2:9