Every year for the past 7 years I find myself feeling very tender-hearted during the days leading up to my son's birthday. I used to think it was just because time is going by so fast and I feel like there are always things that I say I want to do but never get around to, crafts to make with the kids that never get made and a list a mile long of all kinds of great, positive, super cool, family bonding, memory making ideas {mainly from Pinterest} that we should do as a family but we never quite get around to them. Normal, every day life just takes over and to be honest that's fine. We've been blessed with a wonderful family and a great normal, day to day life. But this year I think I have been especially struck by how quickly my boy is growing up and by how much he has impacted my life and how God has used him to work in my life.
Of course all 4 of my kids are special to me {huge understatement}, I love them all the same and God has used them all to change me, to refine me, to humble me and to show me just how desperately I need to walk in daily dependance on God. But I think that most Moms would admit that there's something so unique about your firstborn. My boy will forever be my game changer. He turned me into a mother, into someone's Mommy - a role that I had been day dreaming about from the time I was a little girl. I can remember sitting around with friends in college and talking about classes and study abroad and going on to get a Masters degree and I thought to myself....."but the thing I want most is to be a wife & a Mom". At the time I remember feeling like that wasn't a "big enough" dream and that it wasn't lofty enough, but I knew it was what my heart really wanted. And then, 7 years and 22 hours of back labor ago....my husband and I welcomed our firstborn into the world....and just like that, I was someone's Mom. My sweet son changed my life forever, and my husband and I had been living a pretty good life.....but our son made it better, better times 1,000. My son's arrival kicked off what has been the most challenging, exciting, scary, anxious, worrisome, fun, hysterical, exhausting, loving, beautiful adventure of our life - and I feel like I will forever be indebted to him for that. The past seven years have truly been the best years of my life...filled with ups & downs, victories & defeats, laughter & tears, and a giant boat load of love for this incredible boy who stole my heart and carved out a special place in it that no one else could have. He was the first person to call me Mom, to depend on me for everything, to cry for me and to turn my world upside down - and I am so blessed that he did.
The craziest part of all of this to me is how quickly it has gone by. The past 7 years have flashed by in the blink of an eye. We've gotten him ready for First Day's of school, celebrated Christmases & Birthdays, packed up for a large amount of sleepovers at Mimi's house, watched him build a jillion Lego sets, hurried out the door for countless trips to church, popped bags and bags of movie night popcorn, made a massive amount of Target runs and cheered him on through years of T-Ball, Soccer and basketball games......and {I'm going to sound like such a "mom" when I say this} it has truly gone by in the blink of an eye. Every year I find myself feeling almost stunned on the eve of his birthday, as I'm wrapping presents and charging up my camera.....thinking "How is this possible??? Those were the fastest {insert his age} years ever". I guess I just can never grasp that he's really turning another year older, it must be a Mom thing. And even though sometimes it makes me a little sad that he {and his 3 siblings} are growing up so quickly, this year it's challenged me in my parenting - to see how quickly the time is going and to adjust....adjust my mindset and my parenting. Like I said, it really feels like it's gone by in the blink of an eye...but thanks to God for blessing me with this amazing, kind, honest, nobel, hilarious, highly-skilled-Lego-building, smart, athletic, cool, thoughtful, energetic, Superhero loving, monster & dragon drawing, awesome little boy...it has been the most amazing blink ever.
Happy 7th to my goofy, beloved boy...the coolest son and the best big brother ever.
