Love, Fear & Trust

Whew! The past three months have been a whirlwind of getting used to life as a family of 6. It has been fun, exciting, exhausting, wonderful, challenging and a blessing all at once :) We are loving our new, not-so-little family.

Lately I have been thinking a lot about how love and fear go hand in hand. Sounds crazy, but I really think it's true. As I look at my kids lately I realize that I love them so much it scares me. Scares me because I see how much I would loose and how brokenhearted I would be and how life would be no where near as much fun without them. The love I have for them scares me because I realize that, as much as I think I want to, I cannot control everything that happens to them or everything that is said to them. I desire for them to have the most wonderful, awesome, exciting, God-honoring, fabulous lives and it scares me to know that there are things in the world...people, messages, media,  the enemy....that are going to try and discourage them and keep them from living those wonderful lives I dream of for them. It scares me to think that {God forbid} I could potentially be the one to mess that up for them. Sometimes as a mom I get myself so stressed and freaked out thinking that I'm not good enough, not doing enough, not praying enough and that it's messing up my parenting and my sweet kids are going to get messed up  as a result of my lack of parenting skills. And I think that the love I have for them scares me just because I realize that having kids and a husband you adore really and truly is like letting your heart walk around outside of your body. If someone hurts my kids, my heart hurts. If something bothers my husband, my heart is bothered too. I get scared that someone is going to hurt my sons feelings or make my daughters feel like they're not good enough and I won't be able to protect them from it. 

I know that some of these feelings are perfectly normal for any mother to feel, but I also know that some of these feelings are because I struggle with trusting God to take care of the things that really, really matter to me. Sometimes I think that I can do a better job than he can. I think that my way is better, especially when it comes to my family....I mean, I'm the mom - obviously I am the one with the best plan, right?!?! Sadly, I'm not - and while I wish I was the master planner for my entire family, I know that it is far better that I am not. And in a lot of ways that is actually a huge relief. I don't think I could handle that kind of pressure, and in my attempts to protect my kids from all the bad things in the world I know I would wind up holding them back from becoming the best that they could be. And it would hold me back from learning how to actually trust God with the most important things in my life - and if I want my kids to learn how to fully trust God, I should probably learn how to also.

So what do we do when we feel stressed, worn out or scared that we aren't doing a good enough job? Scared that we can't protect our kids as much as we want to or provide a perfect world for them to live in? What do we do when we feel so happy and thankful for the little ones God has given us and, at the same time, so scared that we are going to mess it all up? In all honestly, I don't know. I wish I had the answers and had it all together but I don't. I don't say that in a negative way, just in an honest way. I don't know if any mom on earth has all the answers or quite knows how to handle the wonderful, life changing and overwhelming flood of emotions that having kids brings into your life. I think that as moms we just need to bring all the feelings we have about motherhood and our children to God and leave them in his hands, trusting that he knows best.  My best friend sent me the article below and I loved it. It summed up my feelings and the feelings that I think so many mother's share so perfectly. So I wanted to share it, and to try and encourage any other Moms out there who might be feeling the same way I am. We have a God who is bigger than all our fears, bigger than all our plans and bigger than all the unknowns out there. Like the song says "...our God is greater, our God is stronger, God you are higher than any other. Our God is healer, awesome in power...."

Here's to our God. He's greater than all our fears. And he loves our kids more than we do...even though it's hard to imagine anyone loving our kids more than their Momma's do. :)

Dear Stay at home Mom,

You are a gift of God to your husband and your kids.

But you don't always feel that way, do you?

There's a low-level feeling of guilt that creeps into your heart from time to time. Sometimes it bubbles over into tears, usually on lonely, difficult days.

You scan blogs and read books about being a good mom. You find some helpful tidbits here and there, often from women who are grandmothers now. Women you can learn from but who seem to have forgotten the struggle. They seem to have it all together.

In your heart, you want to be the kind of mom who trains up kids to make a difference for the kingdom. You know it's an honor to be entrusted with these kids. You know you've only got one shot. You want to be the mom who teaches them the Bible, models how to pray, and trains them up in the fear of the Lord.

But most of the time you feel like you're barely holding it all together.

Your house cleaning can't keep up with your kids' mess-making.

The kids embarrass you by acting up right when your guests arrive.

Your husband doesn't get just how worn out you are by the end of the day.

You come to the end of your patience. You lose your temper. Then you feel worse.

The last thing you consider yourself to be is a "good mom." And you think to yourself, It'll be a miracle if my kids turn out okay.

And - surprisingly - that's right where God wants to meet you. The place where you admit your powerlessness and your need for Him.

It's only by God's grace that any kid grows up to be a force for the kingdom.

You see, there are no perfect kids and no perfect mothers. No matter what you read in blogs, see in magazines, and learn in books. There are sinful kids and sinful moms and dads.

And the only thing greater than both is the grace of God. The God who says "there is therefore now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus." The God who loves to forgive, to transform, and empower.

God loves you - not because you are a good mother but just because you are His precious child.

God loves you - not because you've mastered all the skills of parenting but because He has.

It's divine grace that will transform your parenting - not guilt.

It's grace that will keep you going and serving and scrubbing when you're exhausted and worn out.

It's grace that will conquer your feelings of inadequacy and remind you of God's love for you in Christ.

It's grace that goes for the heart of your kids, not just their behavior.

God has demonstrated the fullness of His love for you through the cross of His Son, even while you were still a sinner.

He has promised you His presence.

He has spoken His approval over you in Christ.

He is the perfect Father who delights in you as a daughter.

Find in Him your Treasure and Joy. Be to others what He is to you.

So walk in freedom. Let Him hold you together when everything seems to be falling apart.

Bask in His unfailing love for you. And rest in His promise of power. 

A Summer Challenge

Summer will officially be here in a few days and I am so excited about it! I love having my kids home with me, just being together and not having to get out of the house every day if we don't want to. Recently I was so glad to come across this post on a great blog that I really enjoy reading, A Pair of Pink Shoes. It had a great idea for a summer activity using all the fun ideas that can be found on Pinterest. I enjoyed reading the post so much that I have decided to try and give the Pinterest Challenge a go when my kids are officially done with school for the summer. So, I have a few days to get my supplies and ideas together and then we are going to go for it! I am really looking forward trying to do this with my kids, I love getting into a fun & creative project with them. Here are some of the challenges we are going to tackle first. I'd encourage everyone who's looking for some ideas for what to do with their kids this summer to give the Pinterest Challenge a try! There are lots of great ideas out there and many that I am looking forward to trying. For now we are starting off nice and easy, but we're excited! This is also a great challenge to try if you're like me and you feel like all the things you put on Pinterest (whether they're for yourself or your kids) just sit on your Pinterest boards and never actually become a reality. So, here we go!


1. Find a New Home for the Camera
Up first is an all-summer-long challenge for myself, actually I guess it's an all-year-long challenge - to get my camera out of my camera bag and find a spot for it where it is easily accessible. I want to try to be more intentional about capturing our fun, every day moments around the house and not just the moments where they're all dressed up in coordinating outfits and being forced to sit pretty and smile :)

2. 30 Day Drawing Challenge
Both of my big kids love to draw, so we are going to get some sketch books for each of them and some brand new crayons and colored pencils and give this a try!

3. Cards & Notes

This challenge is a little bit more for me, but my kids have a few cards and notes they've received so we might start it for them too. I love this idea, it's so smart and so easy! Just get a hole puncher and some string or metal rings and now you can keep all your cards and notes that are special to you in one place. Also, write the date on them and any special things you want to remember about the person who gave it to you or what occasion it was given to you on.

4. ABC Bible Verses
If you head over to this website you can find a free printable with verses for each letter of the alphabet. Then just print them off and put them together in a little book and you have a really easy way to teach your kids some verses. 

5. Summer Ideas in General

I printed this off last summer and hung it on our fridge. It was perfect to have for one of those I-have-no-idea-what-to-do-today-and-the-kids-don't-feel-like-just-sitting-around-in-their-jammies kind of days :)

My Man

Right now I am torn between feeling like I do not have the words to truly express how I am feeling and between fearing that I could ramble on for pages and pages about the topic I am about to write about. Hopefully I'll land somewhere in the middle :)


Today is my husband's 30th birthday. He and I started dating when we were in High School and the first birthday we celebrated together was his 18th, it seems almost unreal that that was 12 years ago. So much has changed and yet at the same time, it feels like we're still the same 18 and 16 year olds we were back then. To me, my husband is irrefutable evidence that God creates the perfect spouse for you. I can't imagine anyone else that I could relate to, talk with, dream with, raise kids with and just plain go-though-life with like I do with my husband. I don't think I could of made it through the ups and downs of life with anyone else. He is someone who is exactly like me and also totally different from me {in a good way} all at once. He's the kind of husband who knows me better than anyone and also continues to work hard at pursuing me and discovering who I am. To say that I am grateful for him feels like a huge understatement. 


I'm sure many women say this about their husbands but it is very true of mine: I thought I couldn't love him any more than I did, until we became parents - my husband became a father and I fell in love with him in a brand new way. Suddenly we were on a new journey together - a wonderful, exciting, amazing, crazy, busy {sometimes stressful, scary & uncertain} blessed, adventurous journey. I truly cannot imagine being on that journey with anyone else. I love watching him interact with our kids. They have so much fun together and I can see how much they adore him. From about 3pm until 6pm each day all I hear is "When is Daddy coming home? Has he left work yet? Think he'll want to play Legos tonight? Will he want to play My Little Ponies with me? Can we go on a walk with Daddy tonight?...." and then comes that magical time when the garage door opens and I hear "Daddy! Daddy!! Daddy's home! Let's hide and scare him! I can't wait to hug him!" It's perfect, he is their superhero - and he's mine too. 


I could go on and on about him and still feel like I haven't properly expressed how great he is. So, you'll just have to trust me - he's a ROCKSTAR, and he's mine. And even though it's his birthday, and this post is all about him, I can't help but feel like I am the one who is getting a gift.


Happy 30th Babe! I love you so much!!! Here's to many, many more!

Find a good spouse, and you find a good life - even more, the favor of God! Prov 18:22

Consider Me Inspired // In Lots of Different Ways

I've found lots of good sites and blogs out there lately and I wanted to share them with you. They have blown me away and provided lots of good reading and encouragement. As a result I've been...


Inspired to get my camera out of my camera bag and use it more often! Life is flying by way too fast not to! I love the list at the bottom of the blog where it gives some fun ideas for snapshots to take with your kids! It's so hard to remember to step out from behind the camera and actually get in the picture with your kids, but I think it's important to do so. It's important to get pictures with your kids and not just be their paparazzi :)


Inspired to get the many, many pictures I have taken of our family off of my computer and into an album. Whether it's a plain ol' photo album, a digital scrapbook or a traditional scrapbook - I don't care! I just want my kids and family to be able to see our journey in a more physical and tangible way vs. just scrolling through pictures on a computer. The link above to the digital scrapbooks is great! They are right on Shutterfly and they are so cute and very easy to use. What I love most is how I can work on the book little by little, just here and there and it saves my work as I go! Perfect for busy Mommas!!!


Inspired to sit down and really, really think about how I am spending my time with my kids. And if you read that blog and like it, and need some good ideas for spending quality time with your kids, there is a good list of ideas here.


Inspired to support a good cause.


And finally, a little motherhood inspiration from a good quote I heard while I was watching Gilmore Girls :)


"My mother never gave me any idea that I couldn't do whatever I wanted to do or be whoever I wanted to be. She filled our house with love and fun and books and music, unfailing in her efforts to give me role models...as she guided me through these 18 years I don't think she ever realized that the person I most wanted to be was her" - Rory Gilmore

I Thought I Knew for Sure...

Looking back to the time before I became a Mom there were so many things that I thought I knew "for sure"

• I thought I knew exactly what my feelings about discipline were, I thought I knew exactly what kinds of discipline techniques I would or would not use
• I thought I would never be one of "those Moms" who dropped their child off at school in their sweats or without full hair & make-up on...
• I thought it would be so easy to fall into a good routine that would help me balance between spending lots of quality time with my kids and also keeping my house clean
• I thought it would be super easy to keep my house clean
• I thought we would spend every moment of the day making crafts and having all kinds of "teachable moments" where we talked about the world and life in general
• The list goes on and on....

I basically thought we'd be skipping through fields all day, singing songs and only taking a break to come inside for a lovely, home cooked meal :)

It turns out I was wrong. Some days I see that I was really wrong and other days I was only off by a little bit. Some days are very "field skipping" kind of days - everyone gets along, everything gets done and we just laugh and smile all day. Other days, that field feels like a huge field of knee deep mud that we are trudging through - but it's so worth it. Sometimes you have to trudge through the mud in order to get to the next field to skip through. That's just how motherhood goes, things can change in an instant. As much as it pains me to admit it, I have definitely had my share of dropping off and picking up my kids at school without a stitch of make up on and wearing a t-shirt and yoga pants (which lets be honest, is pretty much just a cuter way of saying sweats or.....{gulp}...pajamas). I haven't had an easy time keeping my house clean all day and I have most certainly had to change my feelings about discipline. Most of the time I wind up beating myself up over stuff like this. I wind up feeling bad that I can't just pull it together and be the kind of Mom who looks and feels like she has it all together all the time. It seems so easy in theory - just get organized, make some lists, get your butt in gear and pull it together. So why doesn't it always work out that way?

Sometimes it doesn't work out that way because real life happens whether we have planned for it or not. There are days and nights where things just don't go as planned and we can either kick and scream and fight it - or we can step back, take a deep breath and just go with it and focus on staying present and truly living in the moment with our kids. When I step back and really think about it, I don't think my kids really care if I have it all together or not at the moment - I think they just want someone to spend the moment with them. 

I am learning over and over again that life is not neat and tidy - life is a wonderful, enormous blessing from God, but there were no guarantees that it would always be a tidy & easy blessing. And each day usually does not unfold according to my idealistic plan. But I'm beginning to come to a place where I think I can be ok with that, or at least try to be. Don't get me wrong, my kids and my husband are my world and they deserve the best that I can possibly offer them. But I am starting to think that (in my opinion) it's better for me to offer them the happy, relaxed version of myself who might still be in yoga pants and hasn't had a chance to catch up on all the laundry yet than it is to offer them a stressed out, exhausted, frazzled version of myself who has checked everything off her to-do list but hasn't really talked to or played with her kids all day. Obviously I wish I could combine the two. I wish I could check everything off the to do list, play with my kids all day and look & feel fabulous all at the same time....but I just haven't gotten there quite yet. 

My point in saying all of this isn't to condemn anyone who doesn't have it all together and it isn't to slam anyone who does. I guess I have just realized that I've put a lot of pressure one myself to be a certain way and that isn't what God is asking me to do - He isn't the one putting pressure on me or demanding that I get it all together, I am. So the point in saying all of this is just to try to encourage other Moms who may feel the same way. Who also realize that it's time to take whatever it is in your life that is causing you undue amounts of pressure or stress and lay it down. Let it go. Give it to God. Walk away from it. Stop carrying around whatever it is that you are putting on yourself that isn't from God. God is so good to us and he never has and never will put anything on us that is too much for us. He gives us exactly what we can handle by his grace, and he doesn't need or want us adding to it. I don't say all this because it's something that I have perfected - far, far from it. It is something that God has been telling me over and over that I need to do and I hope that by putting it out there it will help me to finally just listen to him and do it. And maybe it will encourage someone else along the way. 

Here's to letting go of the things we thought we knew, and holding on to what we know is true...

Micah 6:8

He has shown you o man, what is good. And what does the Lord require of you? To act justly and to love mercy and to walk humbly with your God.

Matt 11:28-30, The Message

Are you tired? Worn out? Burned out on religion? Come to me. Get away with me and you'll recover your life. I'll show you how to take a real rest. Walk with me and work with me - watch how I do it. Learn the unforced rhythms of grace. I won't lay anything heavy or ill-fitting on you. Keep company with me and you'll learn to live freely and lightly.

And a little encouragement about motherhood from Beth Moore :)
"We only get one shot at it. Once they're grown, they're grown. Give up on doing it perfectly but do it with a lot of heart and a lot of laughter and a WHOLE LOT OF JESUS. And rock them all you can."

Gratitude

Many years ago, when I was still in elementary school, there was an episode of Oprah where she featured a gratitude journal. I can remember so clearly watching that episode with my Mom and very shortly after that episode aired I can remember being in the car with her, on our way to the book store to get the gratitude journal that Oprah had featured on the episode (we are seriously a marketing person's dream...if a celebrity we really like uses some super cool product - we usually go out and get it). Somewhere between being in elementary school and growing up and getting married I forgot about the gratitude journal. It wasn't until I had kids and started struggling to make the time to have the kind of devotional time I really desired to have that the whole concept of the gratitude journal came back into my mind. 

The basic premise of the gratitude journal is that, instead of sitting down to write an entire "Dear Diary" type of entry into your journal, you take the time at the end of the day to think of 3-5 things that you are thankful for that day. They can be big deals or little deals, life changing events or things that might seem trivial - but no matter what you take the time to sit down and reflect on your day and stop and be grateful to God for it. I did really well with this habit for a while and I am trying to get back into the habit because I love looking back on my old entries. Even though there are just 3 or 4 things written down each day I feel like when I read them I am instantly transported back to that day. I can see what was happening, see what we were wearing and it almost feels like I can hear our conversations - and I love that feeling. In a stage of life where it feels like life is flying by so fast, I love any kind of habit, craft of activity that makes you feel like you can freeze time for a little bit. Like I said earlier, I also love that the gratitude journal gives you the chance to capture both the big and little things in life. I love looking back at old entires and seeing things like "a positive pregnancy test" and "a card in the mail from a friend" in the same day. If I had sat down to write a "Dear Diary" kind of entry that day I would of written all about how glad, thankful and excited I was to have gotten a positive pregnancy test - and that's great and that should be celebrated. But I probably wouldn't of mentioned that card that I had gotten in the mail from a friend, it might of been forgotten or overlooked in the excitement of a bigger event. But with a gratitude journal you're looking at your day in more of a bullet point mentality - which is not only great if your very busy, or a mom of little ones, or feel like you don't have a lot of time to stop and journal - but it also allows you the chance to look back at your day, change your perspective (if you need to) and not overlook things that meant a lot to you. 
So, if you're up for the challenge - get yourself a notebook or a diary and take the time at the end of each day to pause and thank God for 3-5 things that you are grateful for. And if you're like me, the more you get into the habit of practicing gratitude at the end of each day - the more things you'll find on your list. 

Pass It On...

There are some things that our kids will just naturally get from us, whether we like it or not....hair color, body shape, habits (good or bad), etc. But I think there are some things that we can choose to pass on to them - not force on them, pass on to them and allow them to see the value in so that they can decide if they want to carry them on for themselves or not. I love that as parents we get the opportunity to teach our kids so much - not just about the world around them, but about ourselves to. We can teach them about things that are important & special to us, and we also can allow them the freedom to see if those things will take root in their hearts as well.


A love of art and creativity is one of the things that I want to pass on to my kids. That was something that was passed on to me by my Mom, which was passed on to her from her irish Grandmother and her irish Aunt. And I am so thankful that she took the time to pass it on to me and that it took root in my life. I love getting involved something creative. There's something that just comes alive inside me when I do. Whether I'm planning one of the kids birthday parties, sewing, knitting, scrapbooking or taking pictures - I just love the feeling of being involved in a creative project. And I hope that my kids do too, and even if they don't become world famous event planners, artists, fashion designers, or photographers - that's ok with me, but I still hope that they can appreciate great art and huge feats of creativity when they see it. You never know how they will take in the things that you share with them. My son heard my Mom and I talking about quilting one day a few years ago and in a matter of minutes, he presented us with this picture....and he asked us to make him a quilt that looked like that. It was such a sweet moment and especially sweet for me to see him taking something creative that I enjoyed and putting his own little twist on it. I will love this little drawing forever....(I took a picture of the drawing and also have saved the original....and someday when I have my own sewing room it will be hanging on the wall!)

In the spirit of passing it on, I thought it would be fun to share some fun, creative ideas I have found that are great for getting the kids involved in. Most of these ideas are things that I have done with my own kids or are on my never ending project to-do list.  


First Day of School Photos // This is a fun idea that has been floating around Pinterest for a little while. It's a cute way to document your kids personalities and favorite things as they start each school year.

Favorite Book // This is a cute project and I'm sure kids would love to help with it too. It's a fun way to display a favorite book or bedtime story of theirs that perhaps has been outgrown. Here are the directions. 


Scrapboxes // Here is a fun idea from good ol' Martha (well, actually from one of her staffers, Darcy, who I actually think has cooler ideas than Martha) This is a great combination of scrapbooking & shadow boxes. It's a perfect way to hold on to some of those extra, extra special mementos that just don't fit into your typical 12x12 scrapbooks. Think about using things like, first ballet shoes, a treasured little blankie or some Legos along with a photo of the first thing they ever built. The possibilities are really endless. This also makes a great gift for Grandparents, friends or other family members! And here is another link to some cute family craft ideas from Darcy - she has great ideas!


Mini Masters Board Books // We have almost every title in this series and each of my kids love to read them. They are a wonderful way to start introducing your kids to art at a very young age. They help them become familiar with famous works of art and the stories help them start interpreting the art from a young age also. "Sunday with Seurat" was one of my son's favorite books when he was a toddler.....I had the whole thing memorized..... and as I type this I am realizing that I think I still do :)


Photography Adventures // Being a photographer, I of course wanted to teach my kids not only the right way to use a camera but also how to express themselves through photography and how much fun it is to be able to freeze time through their pictures. My son and daughter both love their little cameras and when they weather is nice they love to go on little photography walks. They take pictures of pretty much everything they see...hundreds of pictures of the sidewalk, grass, their shoes, cars, flowers, birds....and every time we get back there are always a couple pictures in the batch that turn out really, really well...like "frame-worthy" well :) And here is a cool craft that you can make with all those great photos your kids take.


My point is this - if you have something that is near & dear to you, pass it on to your kids. You never know what could come of it or how much it could mean to them - or how many future generations it will get passed on to.


"Every child is an artist. The problem is how to remain an artist once we grow up." 
-Pablo Picasso

Where's the Pause Button?

Today I imported some pictures into our iPhoto library and I wound up scrolling though some old pictures and movies of our "big kids" (that's what we call our 6 and 4 year old, our two oldest). And maybe it's my pregnancy hormones, or the fact that this is my last pregnancy, or just the fact that I am a full fledged Mommy now and so I cry easily....but I was so choked up the whole time I was looking at our old pictures and home movies of our kids. I had forgotten how their voices sounded when they that small, I had forgotten how much baby fat they had on their little faces, forgotten about little expressions they made or the way they said certain words. It was bittersweet. I was so glad that I had those pictures and movies, but at the same time I was so sad that time had gone by so quickly.


It feels like such a "Mom" thing to say, but every once and while it just hits me all over again - time is flying, it really does go by SO quickly and kids grow up SO fast. It seems like when you're pregnant with your first baby, you spend the majority of those 9 months hearing other Moms tell you just how fast time goes by, and you smile and promise to treasure every minute - but at 3am when you're trying to get you're 2 week old to eat or fall back asleep you wonder if those other Moms were lying to you. And then you blink and your newborn is suddenly six years old....almost done with Kindergarden, sounding like a big kid and missing all that baby fat on his face.  So, what do you do? I have a feeling that sitting around, crying about how fast your babies are growing up isn't an option :)


Maybe that's why I am so drawn to photography, scrapbooking and keeping a journal (or trying to keep a journal). It seems like a way to freeze time and to hold onto all those heartwarming things that we don't want to forget. Tonight instead of feeling discouraged that I am insanely behind on scrapbooking I am trying to be encouraged and motivated. To see that yes, time is flying by quickly so - stop wasting the precious extra time you do have and spend it doing something you love and actually want to do....work on the scrapbooks, make the quilts and dresses and hair bows and little outfits for them that you want to -  before they're too big to wear them.


Looking through all those old memories also felt like I got a big kick in the rear as far as my attitude about parenting goes. Let's be honest, parenting is hard, tiring and stressful. Yes it is totally worth it - it's wonderful and amazing and filled with heartwarming, priceless movements and I am thankful for every last one of them. But it is also filled with moments where you just want to curl up in a ball in the corner and cry. Sometimes you wonder if you have what it takes, and sometimes you fear that you're a total failure and your kids are going to wind up paying a shrink insane amounts of money to try and figure out how you messed them up so bad. However, I think as mothers we have to be so careful not to give in to that stress and that fear. Sure it's healthy to some degree (we worry because we care, it's just in the job description). But sometimes we wind up so freaked out, discouraged, stressed and caught up in all the hard moments of parenting that we miss the good moments and we forget to stop and just enjoy our kids. I know that I need to take more time to just stop and do nothing but enjoy my kids. To laugh with them and be ridiculous and immature with them. To build LEGO spaceships, brush the dollies hair and just sit on the floor and let my baby girl feed me animal crackers. I need to stop freaking out that the house is a mess and the laundry is behind and that my to-do list is growing at an insane rate. Because my kids are growing even faster. It seems like that to-do list is a snail compared to how fast my kids are growing. And I don't want to miss it. I don't want to look back and realize that I had forgotten how they used to be. I don't want to have to jog my memory through home movies. 


I want to be like Mary and treasure all these things in my heart. To enjoy and appreciate my kids for who they are and not give in to stress, fear and the wrong kinds of "mommy guilt". I want to live by the motto of my favorite "famous scrapbooker", Becky Higgins and "cultivate a good life and record it". God has blessed my husband and I with an incredible, blessed life and I don't want to miss out on any part of it. 


So that's my little challenge to myself, and feel free to steal it for yourself if you need it. Thanks for letting me ramble :) 

Legendary

Everyone has that collection of movies or tv shows that they could watch over and over and over, and never tire of. One of the items in my list is a TV Special that aired a few years ago. It was the "Oprah Winfrey Legends Ball". Event planning enthusiasts that we are, my Mom and I made ourselves Oprah's Legendary Lemon Drop Martinis and drank in every sip of Collin Cowie, Oprah and Gayle planning a three day long solute to those whom Oprah considered to be legends among the African American community. It was so much fun. And every once in a while, I still hop on YouTube and watch the special all over again...someone has the whole thing up there in six different little segments, but I don't mind - I still love it. Not just because the event planner in me falls in love with the notion of having a party to honor those you admire, or giving away diamond earrings as a favor - but because I really do agree with the statement that Collin Cowie makes during the show, "love is in the details". It's true. When you love someone you know all the little details about them that make them who they are. If you're like me you love buying all the coordinating plates and napkins and party supplies that go with whatever theme my kid has picked out for their birthday party that year. You love wrapping up party favors or gifts and wondering how excited someone else will be when they open them. You love creating a gift for someone with your own hands because even though it takes a lot of time and effort and attention to detail, the recipient is SO worth it to you. Maybe that's why the Legends Ball and all the details that went in to it resonate with me. 


However, after the last time that I watched it I began to look at it in a different light. Because right around that time I had also gone to a Beth Moore conference where she talked about preparation. She spoke about all that God has prepared for us to do over the course of our life, and all that He has prepared for us in eternity. And as I began to think about all that God has prepared for us, both here on this earth and in Heaven - I was blown away. I thought that little Legends Ball weekend Oprah had thrown was amazing and incredible and then I realized - that weekend doesn't even scratch the surface of all the work and preparation that God has put into our life. In comparison to how much detail and thought and LOVE and sacrifice has gone into God's preparing our life and eternity for us - that Legends Ball looks like nothing. I know that this may not come as a huge shocking revelation to you as it did to me, but sometimes things just fall afresh on you and you cannot get over them. And as I thought about ALL that God has done for me, and all the care and thought and effort he has put into just my life (and don't forget he puts that same amount of effort and love into the lives of all his children) I was humbled, and grateful....and pretty much speechless. 


So I guess the question becomes, what is our response back to him? When we realize all he has done and all he IS doing for us, what do we do in response? Of course the first things most of think of would be to love him, obey and serve him, show his love to those around us - and I agree, absolutely. But I also think that we are called to live more intentionally in response to him. To not just float through life letting our days just be "whatever". I think that we need to recognize how quickly our time here is flying by and to become more purposeful and intentional in the way we live, in the way that we love, obey and serve our God. Life with God is a huge adventure, an amazing adventure and at times a very tough adventure. But if we will focus on HIM and not all the circumstances flying around us, trying to distract us from him, he will guide us and he will take us on the journey of a lifetime. Something far better than any Legends Ball that we (or Collin Cowie) could ever dream up.


Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life? - Mary Oliver


Ephesians 2:10 - For we are God's masterpiece. He created us anew in Christ Jesus, so we can do the good things he planned for us long ago.


Isaiah 45:18 - For the LORD is God, and he created the heavens and earth and put everything in place. He made the world to be lived in, not to be a place of empty chaos. "I am the LORD," he says, "and there is no other".


1 Corinthians 2:9 - However, as it is written: "What no eyes has seen, what no ear has heard, and what no human mind has conceived" - the things God has prepared for those who love him.

Consider Me Inspired // Motherhood & Photography

Hello! I just wanted to take a minute to share two fun, encouraging and totally unrelated things with you! :)


First up is probably one of the best messages on parenting I have ever heard - and it's only 12 minutes long! I've been blessed to have been able to receive wonderful, godly advice from my own Mom, from friends who have kids older than mine, from good books and from wonderful sermons I've heard and this video is right up there at the top of my list of favorites! It is something that I watch over and over again to give myself a good reminder of what really matters in parenting, what's really going to make a difference in my children's life. It's a quick little Mother's Day Video that Beth Moore put on her blog a few years ago. You can watch it here. Enjoy!


The second is a great article I read about photographing your own kids. As a photographer and a Mom I sometimes have such a struggle with photographing my own kids. Most people think that just because you are a photographer and have a nice camera, that automatically means that you will have studio quality pictures of your children all the time. Well, it doesn't. I wish it did but usually one of two things happens in our house: either I don't feel like lugging my nice, big camera along with us or my kids are not into my fun photo-shoot idea as much as I am. Yes, I am sure you are shocked to learn that most photographer's children do not feel like dressing up, sitting perfectly still and smiling or gazing happily into their siblings eyes whenever their photographer mommy wants them to! So a lot of the time I just wind up discouraged and leaving the camera at home or saying we'll try on a different day or just waiting until my good friend and family photographer Robin Lieb is available (you can check our her site here by the way). But when I came across this article, I was so encouraged! It really helped me change my perspective on being a "photographer mom" and it reignited my love for photographing my own kids. So whether your a pro, an amateur or a Mom with a camera that hasn't been used in a while - check out this article and get shooting!

Mommy Dearest

Today is my Mom's birthday! I have been thinking about writing something in honor of her birthday for a while but I have had a hard time forming my thoughts. When I think of all she has done for me and my growing little family I feel like words are not sufficient enough to describe how much she means to us. That's how I feel when it's time to shop for her too....she is both the easiest and the hardest person for me to buy for. On one hand I could easily spend hundreds on her - buying all the french books, interesting novels, Tiffany & Co jewelry, Anthoplogie teasets, knitting accessories, macaroons, quilting supplies, and French themed art that I can find. But on the other hand I feel like none of it is good enough. None of it is special enough. I mean, in all honesty how do you accurately portray your love, appreciation and admiration of someone who...

• Raised you in a loving, Christian home
• Took you to church every week, put you in Christian school
• Switched churches when she saw how much fun you were having & how much you were getting involved at a new youth group so that she could be at the same church as you
• Made all your clothes & halloween costumes and then taught you to sew when you were old enough (and still continues to teach you to sew, knit, quilt, etc....)
• Hand sewed every single Swarovski crystal onto your wedding dress
• Took you to plays, musicals, ballets and art museums from a very young age
• Came to allllll of your basketball, softball (rain or shine), and cheerleading games. And also coached your 8th grade cheer squad so that there could be a team that season
• Chaperoned all your school field trips
• Not only raised you, but also took care of two dogs, three cats and a handful of hamsters and birds in the coarse of your childhood because you were an animal lover :)
• Had one of those hamsters operated on (yes, operated on) because it broke her heart to see you crying over the thought of a hamster dying. (Looking back, this whole story is hilarious and it may just wind up getting a post of it's own one day)
• Took you and your friends to Hawaii for two weeks after High School graduation
• Laughed with you
• Cried with you when you were stressed out
• Listened to you go on and on and on about some guy named Matt you had met at youth group and were completely in love with :)
• Happily planned (and paid for) your wedding and went with you to every fitting, appointment, etc
• Moved you and your hubby into our first house, helped you paint it and decorate it and turn it into a home
• Rejoiced with you (and calmed your nerves) when you learned that a baby was on the way 10 months later
• Joyfully sprang out of bed at 5am when that baby began to arrive one cold wintery morning
• Moved in for a week to cook and clean and care for our new little family when Matt went back to work after our baby was born
• Also, sprang out of bed to be at the hospital when babies number 2 and 3 were on the way and also came to cook and clean and help you adjust after they were born
• Threw you a party every time a baby was on the way because she firmly believed that every baby is worth celebrating
• Babysits for free and usually winds up cleaning the house while she's there also
• Has craft days with you
• Stalks...I mean....attends Beth Moore conferences with you
• Plans and throws birthday parties for your kids with you
• Has your kids over for slumber parties and lovingly spoils them like crazy
• Dove into the brand-new-to-her world of Legos, superheros and video games so she could bond with your son
• Takes your daughter for tea, manis & pedis and shopping dates....just like she did when you were little
• Took your family to Disney World, Legoland and The American Girl store in Chicago

...and this list....is just the tip of the iceberg. I could sit here and type until my fingers began to bleed and fill pages and pages full of all the things she has done for me and my family, and it still would not feel like an accurate description of how great, awesome, fabulous and kind my Mom is. Happy Birthday Mom, I am so thankful for you!!! Love you!

Reading Day

My Mom informed me today that it is World Reading Day and tomorrow is National Reading Day. I've written before about how much I love books and reading but I wanted to do just a little something on the blog today in honor of these great days!


If you are a Mom, I cannot stress enough how important I think it is to take your kids to the library - often! It is such a fun and free activity to do with them. My kids love going to our library, and we love to take them! They proudly have their own library cards and get such a kick out of scanning their books at the self checkout. Even when our oldest was still an infant we would go and push his stroller through the isles of books and as he got older he would waddle around, checking everything out. It's so important to teach our kids - from a young age - to the value of a good book, to enjoy learning and to love getting lost in the pages of an exciting story! And don't forget to get some books for yourself too! Happy Reading Day!!!


There are lots of great resources out there to encouraging reading, here are just a few: 


Oprah's Book Club for Kids // This site has great information and book recommendations for kids of all ages.


Rory's Book Club // Most of you know this about me, but I (and my Mom, my husband and some of my close friends) am a HUGE fan of the TV show Gilmore Girls. One of the main characters on the show, Rory, was a huge book lover, she was pretty much never seen without a book in hand or somewhere nearby. Some other Gilmore Girls Groupies put together a book list filled with the books she read on the show and with recommendations for books that she probably would of read.


And finally, if you're a book lover then you definitely need to get the GoodReads app. It's a great tool that helps your keep track of books you  have read, want to read or are currently reading. And you can see what books your friends are reading also. It's fun and a has quickly become one of my favorite apps. You can get the app here or click here to check out the website. 

Poetry Jam

Just for fun I thought I would share two of my all time favorite poems. One is about the bond between a little boy and his loyal dog and, the other about how God's plans are far better than ours. They are very different but what they have in common is that they both inspire me.  One inspires me to stop and appreciate the sweet and simple things in life and the other reminds me to stop fighting so hard to make my way & my plan work out and to just let God do what's best. Both are lessons I am finding I need to learn over and over and over......


A Boy and His Dog, by Edgar Guest

A boy and his dog make a glorious pair:
No better friendship is found anywhere,
For they talk and they walk and they run and they play,
And they have their deep secrets for many a day;
And that boy has a comrade who thinks and who feels,
Who walks down the road with a dog at his heels.

He may go where he will and his dog will be there,
May revel in mud and his dog will not care;
Faithful he'll stay for the slightest command
And bark with delight at the touch of his hand;
Oh, he owns a treasure which nobody steals,
Who walks down the road with a dog at his heels.

No other can lure him away from his side;
He's proof against riches and station and pride;
Fine dress does not charm him, and flattery's breath
Is lost on the dog, for he's faithful to death;
He sees the great soul which the body conceals--
Oh, it's great to be young with a dog at your heels!

The Life I Planned, by Beth Moore

Has someone seen the life I planned?
It seems it's been misplaced.
I've looked in every corner;
It's lost without a trace.

I've found one I don't recognize --
Things missing that were dear;
Promises I'd hoped to keep,
And dreams I'd dreamed aren't here.

Faces I had planned to see,
Hands I planned to hold;
Now absent in the pictures;
Not the way I told.

Has someone seen the life I planned?
Did it get thrown away?
God took my hand from searching;
Then I heard Him say --

"Child, your ears have never heard,
Your eyes have never seen,
Eternal plans I have for you
Are more than you could dream.

You long to walk by sight,
But I'm teaching eyes to see;
I know what I'm doing --
'Till then, you must believe.

He's done so much, I felt ashamed
To know He heard my moans.
To think I'd trade in all He's done
For plans made on my own.

I wept over His faithfulness
And how He'd proved Himself;
How He'd gone beyond my dreams
And said to Him myself,

"No, my ears have never heard,
My eyes have never seen,
Eternal plans You have for me
Are more than I could dream.

"Yes, I long to walk by sight
But You're teaching eyes to see;
You know what You're doing --
'Till then, I must believe.

I felt His great compassion --
Mercy unrestrained.
He let me mourn my losses
And showed to me my gains.

I offered Him my future
And released to Him my past.
I traded in my dreams
For a plan He said would last.

I get no glimpse ahead;
No certainties at all,
Except the presence of the One
Who will not let me fall.

Are you also searching
For a life you planned yourself?
Have you looked in every corner?
Have you checked on every shelf?

Child, your ears have never heard,
Your eyes have never seen,
Eternal plans He has for you
Are more than you could dream.

Perhaps you long to walk by sight,
But He's teaching eyes to see;
He knows what He is doing --
Child, step out and believe.

Possibility

I could wander through the isles of a fabric store for hours. Maybe it's because I grew up spending a lot of time in fabric stores with my Mom, something feels homey about it. We walked through the aisles together, looked at pattern books together, waited in line at the cutting counter together - I loved it, still do. There's just something about being in a fabric store or a craft store that's wonderful & exciting to me. I could wander JoAnn's, Hobby Lobby or Scrappy Chic (my favorite scrapbook store) endlessly. Staring at all the papers, looking at all the albums, admiring all the different yarns, running my hand over the bolts of fabric....I just love it. I know, I know...I'm a craft nerd, but I'm ok with that. My best friend and I share this bond also. We talk all the time about how much we love just being in these stores, walking around...getting ideas.

Same thing goes for a book store, I could easily spend a crazy amount of hours staring at the children's books, cook books, chick lit, art books, novels....anything except the westerns or the crazy romance novels really. Again, another value instilled in me by my Mom - she loves books too and she read to me all the time, took me to the library, and bought me all the American Girl books my heart could desire. I've always loved being around books. Even now, one of my favorite date nights with my husband is to just go and wander a book store together. We love it. We're book nerds and we love that about each other. 

The other day I got to thinking about why this is. Why I enjoy wandering around in these stores so much.  Something inside me comes alive. It doesn't matter that I am just window shopping. I know it seems strange to talk about "coming alive" in a fabric store, but it happens. And then it hit me. Yesterday on the phone I was talking with my craft-loving best friend and she was talking about staring at a bunch of spools of thread and all the possibilities it represented. And I realized it - possibility. That's what it is about the book and craft store. They are filled with possibilities. All the supplies are sitting there so beautifully - but they're not complete yet. They haven't served their purpose yet. They are waiting to be turned into a skirt, a quilt, a purse, a scarf, a baby blanket, a scrapbook page, a card, a bookmark. The possibilities are endless. And the beauty of books is that they are filled with possibilities too. They can challenge you, teach you, change you, inspire you, take you to another world, make you think about things that had previously never crossed your mind. They introduce you to people who are strangers to you when you start the book, but by the last page you know that you will never forget them. Entire worlds of possibility await on the pages of a book. 


The same is true with our relationship with God - I know it may seem like a huge stretch to compare our walk with God to things like walking through a craft store or bookstore but stay with me. Life spent following God is filled with possibilities, and there is something so beautiful about that. We don't know what the future holds and that is so exciting and thrilling. Yes it's scary at times, really scary. But honestly - would you want your walk with God to be boring and predictable? Do we want to know all the answers right away and know exactly what is going to happen each and every way? God knows how it is all going to turn out  and he has our best interest at heart. He knows how we need to change, what we need to learn and how we need to be challenged. And at times when it can be so frightening and frustrating to not know how things are going to turn out, it's comforting to know that we are in the hands of the one who does. 


Sometimes we think that our plan, our pattern, our design, our story is better than what God has in store - but it's not. It never is. So while He puts everything together perfectly - for our best interest and for His glory - I believe it is our job to relax, trust Him and enjoy wandering the aisles of the store...and come alive at the thought of the possibilities that are there for us. He is the Master craftsmen and the best Author, everything He makes is full of beauty and every story He writes is an incredible adventure that turns out exactly as it should - according to His plan. 


Picture a piece of embroidery placed between you and God, with the right side up toward God. Man sees the loose frayed ends; but God sees the pattern. - Corrie ten Boom


This is what the Scriptures mean when they say, "No eye has seen, no ear has heard, and no mind has imagined what God has prepared for those who love him." - 1 Corinthians 2:9